Every day I live in a dark shadow which seems to slowly close in, making me feel regret. This dark gloomy shadow follows my daily footsteps all the time, causing me to think about the terrible decision I have made on earth. The guilt being brought upon me is more than I thought I would ever have to deal with for what I have done. I have come to realize over time the gratification of revenge is only temporary causing my whole life to consist of guilt. I have done something tremendously wrong. People often do things they are not proud of, but I have done something that is unspeakable which I have gotten away. Every day this guilt is here to haunt me causing me to hear the voice of Fortunate and his helpless screams playing in the back of my mind. It’s been nearly a year since Fortunato has died and I still hear the town chatter about his death only remind me of my mistake. As I watch the distress and pain it gave to the families and community members it has got me to reach my deepest thoughts. My revenge is overwhelmed in my head causing me to relive trapping Fortunato in the cellar. Overall it brought me back to my childhood when I was a kid and had no love from my mother or father as they were not part of my everyday life. This caused me to have many struggles in life being different than others like me, living every day without my parents.
My story begins way back when I was 13 years old. I was a timid and quiet adolescent that never really expressed much feeling. The day that dramatically changed my life was the day my father known as Adam married my stepmother. a widow She is a mother of 2 children, a boy Fortunato and a beautiful girl Marissa. My mother Theresa, died when I was 10 from a serious car accident which replays in my head every day. I miss her so much I have never felt so broken before after that and I always wish I could have her back. I was an only child and overjoyed to have instant siblings with my father’s new marriage. I always felt that I wasn’t good enough for my stepmother, she wouldn’t shower me with attention as she did her own flesh and blood, but assumed that was expected since I wasn’t her own. I desperately wanted the love, but wasn’t sure what I could do to earn it from her. It was physically and mentally exhausting always trying to outdo Fortunato in everything, thinking this would show my stepmother I was worthy of her love as well.